That being said, I am increasingly convinced that the deep thinker, as he or she strives to write a complete picture of his or her thoughts at any one time, must at some point be satisfied with writing incomplete thoughts. My approach tends to be very thorough. I like to anticipate questions. And I'm not saying that this is a bad thing -- I consider a sign of respect that I consider people's words, mole them over and over in my mind, and give them what I would call 'a proper treatment' of their contribution, whether I agree with it or not.
With that in mind, consider that I have entertaining the idea of writing letters to the editor, of formally entering into the public discourse, and that letters to the editor in our local newspaper are limited to 200 words. Now -- besides my self-doubt of whether I know enough to scrimmage with the big boys, besides the internal tug-of-war in my heart of hearts between the idealistic burning in my soul that my writing will have a part to play on the political scene and yearning to jump into the ring VS the reservations of the current atmosphere of political discussion where I can be nervous as to the effect my words could have on my family, besides the idealistic struggle between acknowledging that I am a conservative voice in a very not-conservative state and will my voice matter VS I could not live with what I imagine would be an attitude of surrender and defeat and hopelessness from accepting that I effectively have no voice for change, besides the struggle of deciding what to write on since the pertinent issues in the news seem to change so quickly -- you expect me to say it in 200 words? You know me, 200 words is a warm-up for me, I might almost define the topic I'm discussing in 200 words.
Interestingly, the word-count limit been a good built-in check on my passion that is expression. Thus far, I have not actually written a letter, I don't think timing is yet right. In the meantime, I continue voraciously reading and learning.
Some of that has been back-burned due to Rigoletto. That is true. I am in the chorus, which in Rigoletto is an all-male chorus. We have two performances at the end of October (Friday evening the 25th, Sunday matinee the 27th). Mom and Dad are planning to come down to see it, which will be fun.
It has been quite the experience. Thus far in my life, I haven't had much music thrown at me that would throw off my counting, but the opening party scene offered me just that -- The orchestra laying a party tapestry of its own, with its own melody and everything, on top of which the characters and chorus have little interjections (the recitative). What's tricky is that the recordings all sound like the music stars on count 1, but the music of the scene actually starts on count 2. I had to listen to the recording with the music about 40 times before I got it right.
Apart from that, the biggest struggle has been the language. Rigoletto is in Italian, and, not surprising, we are performing it in Italian. I know I speak Spanish already, but, even though they are similar, Italian is not Spanish. This became more tricky as far as just pronouncing it because there are notes of music that combine the syllables of different words, little musical conjunctions that probably make sense of you speak Italian, which aren't necessarily the same as in Spanish. And then memorizing it -- I'm still working on that.
What's interesting with this production is that it is what they are calling "presidium opera" It's basically like when musicals nowadays are done "in concert," sort of like an oratorio -- no set, orchestra and conductor on the stage, main soloists in either full or some costume, little to no staging. In this kind of production, the choir is usually on risers; but in our production, we will have a small number of choir members participating in the limited staging -- We are calling it the "acting chorus," as opposed to the "sitting chorus," which will stay stand in their place by their chairs with their music. The acting chorus has to have the music all memorized.
It's interesting, I joined the chorus in the first place to participate in the company's Gala -- single pieces of music, most of them not memorized, no staging, way less work and stress. The added stress of memorization and extra rehearsals were precisely the reason why I did not participate in their subsequent opera, even though that opera was Carmen. It was just too much at the time. When I heard that Rigoletto was going to be a presidium opera, I figured that that would be more manageable. And yet, here I am, having volunteered to participate in the acting chorus, volunteering for the added work of memorization and additional rehearsals, because...I don't know, I just got excited, and the opportunity reminded me of how much I miss the stage, I miss performing. So we'll see how this goes.
Even more interesting. I asked a professional singer if the opera does any oratorios, like the Messiah or Elijah. She said that such works are performed more often by the Modesto Symphony and Chorus, less so by Opera Modesto. But she shared an interesting fact -- apparently, a singer can make more money per gig singing concert work than they can doing opera roles. She mentioned a gig she had in Sacramento (a 70-minute drive from Modesto), doing a concert work -- two rehearsals, two performances -- she made $1600. In contrast, for an opera role -- which is usually a month-long commitment, with music rehearsals, staging rehearsals, tech rehearsal, and maybe three performances -- she made less than $1000. That seemed kind of counter-intuitive to me, I'm not sure how the economics works; but she said that tenors always have work. So I'm considering learning more concert repertory. I already know the tenor arias from Elijah ("If With All Your Hearts," "Then, Then Shall the Righteous Shine Forth"). I figure I had better learn the tenor arias for Messiah to start. I also looked up a book of 30 some odd concert/oratorio arias for tenor, and have been listening to them. It's been really fun. And with all the singing I've been doing with the chorus, I feel like my range had expanded a little bit, so that's really exciting.
As far as staying up on election stuff. Let me know what your mission president says and if there is any way that I can help. Unless otherwise instructed, I will confine myself to sharing thoughts I have during my readings and research. But promise that if even those become too distracting from your current calling that you will inform me.
Here are some quotes for now:
"11. Another matter worthy of thought in the present connection is this: Is the fact of the great apostasy,—the virtual overthrow and destruction of the Church established by Jesus Christ,—to be regarded as an instance of failure in the Lord's plans? Is it a case of defeat in which Satan was victor over Christ? Consider the following. What mortal has yet measured the standard by which Omniscience gages success or failure? Who dares affirm that what man hails as triumph or deplores as defeat will be so accounted when tested by the principles of eternal reckoning?
12. The history of the world abounds with instances of the temporary triumph of evil, of justice seemingly miscarried, of divine plans for the time being frustrated, of God's purposes opposed and their consummation delayed.
13. We read of the Lord's covenant with Israel? Unto Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob He declared that their descendants should be a people chosen for His special service among the nations. Through that lineage the Savior of mankind was to be born; in the posterity of Abraham all nations of the earth were to be blessed. Blessings beyond the heart of man to conceive, beyond the mind of man to comprehend, were promised on condition of loyal allegiance to Him who proclaimed Himself their God and their King. Moreover the Lord predicted calamity and suffering, and individual affliction and national disgrace, if Israel departed from the service of Jehovah and yielded to the enticements of their heathen neighbors who knew not God. Think you that the Lord was ignorant of the course His people would choose? Did He fail to foresee that Israel would follow the evil way, forfeiting the blessings and reaping the harvest of sorrow? Jehovah's plans failed not, though the realization of the blessings so abundantly promised has been long delayed. Equally forceful with the prediction of calamity in case of sin, was the promise of eventual restoration to favor. The dispersion of Israel already accomplished, was to be followed by the gathering of Israel now in progress.—(See the Author's "Articles of Faith," lectures 17 and 18.)
14. What would have been the world's verdict as to the success or failure of the mission of the Christ, had a vote been taken at the time of the crucifixion? Seemingly His enemies had triumphed; He who proclaimed Himself the Messiah, the Son of God, the resurrection and the life, over whom death could not prevail, had suffered the fate of malefactors, and His body was in the tomb. But the verdict of the centuries, which is the verdict of the eternities to come, acclaims that "failure" as the greatest triumph of the ages, the victory of victories.
15. Even so with the Church. For a season the powers of evil triumphed, and the spirit of apostasy ruled. But beyond the darkness of the spiritual night the glorious dawn of the restoration was seen in prophetic vision, and both the night with its horrors, and the awakening day with its splendor, were foreseen and foretold."
James E. Talmage, The Great Apostasy, Ch.2, 1909
And also:
"History often appears to resemble a roulette wheel; there is truth in the old Greek idea of cycles, and round again may come the number which signifies a conservative order. One of those flaming clouds which we deny to the Deity but arrogate to our own employment may erase our present elaborate constructions so abruptly as the tocsin in the Faubourg St. Germain terminated an age equally tired of itself. Yet this roulette-wheel simile would be repugnant to [Edmund Burke] (or to John Adams), who knew history to be the unfolding of a Design. The true conservative thinks of this process, which looks like chance or fate, as rather, the providential operation of a moral law of polarity. And Burke, could he see our century, never would concede that a consumption-society, so near to suicide, is the end for which Providence has prepared man. If a conservative order is indeed to return, we ought to know the tradition which is attached to return, so that we may rebuild society; if it is not to be restored, still we ought to understand conservative ideas so that we may rake from the ashes what scorched fragments of civilization escape the conflagration of unchecked will and appetite."
Russell Kirk, The Conservative Mind: From Burke to Eliot, Seventh Ed., Ch.1, first printed 1953
P.S. An excerpt from my son's prayer tonight (he has a goal of being more thoughtful in his prayers):
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this day.
Please forgive us for our mistakes today [...]
Please bless that people will stop smoking, that it will become I extinct.
I'm really worried about this, and want it to not be a problem anymore. Help it to become extinct -- like the dinosaurs.
Help us to know how they became extinct.
Some of us are really confused, there have even been fights over it.
Please show signs to the scientists that will show them how they became extinct.
Maybe they didn't have food; maybe it was the meteor.
Some of us are really confused.
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